a cause to live by

...this I pledge, and I'll take it to my death//I'll lay my life down for you and die over again//And I, I'm not ashamed of the Most High//Even if I die tonight, if I die tonight//This I pledge, and I'll take it to my death//You can bet your life on my words and everything I said//You can't take away my love for this sacrifice//Even if I die tonight, if I die tonight..

- The Messenjah (P.O.D.)

Strong words. Sadly, too strong for some of us.

But these things are mere facts of life to people who are (truly) driven by certain motivations -- a life of constant analysis/review/doubt of what is socially accepted, a commitment to live by a code, and an acceptance/realization that it was never meant to be easy.

The times when I take my faith seriously (sadly, not all of the time), these things come to me as clear as sunshine. As a man, I stand leagues away from what I hope to become, and movement towards this goal is measured in inches. Yet I am continually thankful that there even is movement. I dread the day when I lose heart and just give up. Heavenly winds are pushing me up and forward these days. I don't know how long these winds will last, but I plan to take the most out of it. As I have said, living in faith has never been easy.

These moments of clarity have let me see a number of lies that I continually believe when I am in the flesh. Firstly, a life of ease and comfort does not reflect the picture of life which my faith dictates I should be having. I maybe speaking more in terms of spiritual and mental struggle, but I do hope you get my point. What is convenient, easy, normal -- this usually comes about when you feel very acquianted with the world you're living in. What I find in the Bible, and what I've heard from people whom I respect, tells of an almost exact opposite. Living a life in faith requires a constant struggle angainst what the world, and in fact what your body, dictates as normal, good, and convenient. Living a life of worship requires you to go beyond convenience just to obey, go beyond yourself and live for His glory. While I'm in a body that almost always requires all the opposite things, I don't see how my faith can lead to an easy, convenient life.

To the extreme, let me cite an example. A life of a terrorist, I imagine, would fall here in this category -- totally committed, living in constant vigilance, waiting for the moment the command is given, and obeying with no questions asked. If that could be the description of how I am with my God, I would be proud. Sadly it is not.

My friend Leah also told me of her glimpses into the lives of those who believe in Communism. In other 1st world countries, these facts may not mean much, but here in the Philippines, being commited to this cause means a world of difference. These people live by the strictest of codes -- security, secrecy and loyalty are values held in the highest regard. Any disobedience would be regarded as a threat to their way of lives, and their way of life is as sacred to them as maybe, the Bible is to me. To take that away from them... well, you get the point.

These people take the difficulties of their way of life in stride, knowing that living the hard way is the only way to make the difference they are wanting to see in this world. I firmly believe that if we do not learn to accept the difficult task of putting the self to death every single day, we may well be falling short of the life the Savior has planned for us.

Am I saying that it is bad to look for convenience and comfort? No. Comfort, peace, and rest are all gifts that the Bible say God wants to give us. What I am saying is that if your life is a picture of being relaxed with the world, blending into your environment, a complete lack of struggle against sin and disobedience, you know full well that this is not what God wants for you.

What are you looking for? Your actions and decisions will always betray what your motivations are. Your faith is not one for excuses; it is not an easy way out, as some see it to be. The winds blow hard against your journey, and it was always meant to be that way. The struggle is what you live for -- against the flow, as they say. If you were looking for ease, it is not here. If you were looking convenience, it is not here. It is here that people struggle against the tide, walk, crawl. Wounded and bruised, they push forward, hoping that there is enough strength just for the next step. And at the end, they get what they deserve -- the applause of heaven and the approval of their Father.

His lord said to him, Well be thou, good servant and faithful; for on few things thou hast been true, I shall ordain thee on many things; enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

Matthew 25:21 (Wycliffe New Testament)