the best. abso-freaking-lutely.

--this post has nothing to do with my emotional, spiritual, or mental state right now. this is purely physical.

ok. you're in the city. you're stomach is looking for something that not only would fill it up, but would appeal to your taste buds as well. if your looking for a hunger-buster, look no further.

[DISCLAIMER: The company who makes these did not, in cash or in kind, pay me for this here blog exposure they have. In fact, I really prefer Jollibee over McDonald's any other day. This is the exception.]


The Double Cheeseburger. (ta-dah!)









If you're talking about filling your stomach brute force with a "no frills" kinda burger that at least tastes decent, the McDonald's Double Cheeseburger is by far, in my opinion (agree with me, Leah), the best option for you.

Heck, "tastes decent"? It tastes freaking good. Whoever thought up this product should be given some sort of award for the sheer audacity of the idea -- two cholesterol-ridden, chunky-juicy-oily all-beef (or at least they claim so) patties, on a regular McDonald's burger bun, and with two slices of cheese to boot -- else it wouldn't be a cheeseburger, eh?

And the simplicity is just as inviting. I mean, I choose to eat this without the onions and the pickles -- just the patties, the cheese, the ketchup and the bun. I mean you can eat it as is, but imagine -- no lettuce, no tomatoes, not even sesame seeds on the bun. Just plain beefy-juicy-cheesy goodness. And have you noticed how absolutely perfect this goes with the salty-soggy fries and a large glass of Coke? Yeah, you have. Hungry yet?

I mean, I've never been like an "I-go-crazy" fan of McDonald's. I'm your regular Jollibee kinda guy. But there are some products that this US franchise has gotten absolutely perfect (just like the way how Chickenjoy is purrrrfect). I know, I know, you may disagree on the Chickenjoy, but bear with me. McDonald's hit the nail right on the head for me with a number of things -- McNuggets, Twister Fries, and of course, the aforementioned burger.

For a special burger day or meal, my first choice would be Jollibee's Amazing Aloha (always my choice on special occasions if asked). Then there are those expensive Wendy's burgers. But on a regular day, you just can't beat the way a Double Cheeseburger brute forces it's way down to your tummy.

Ideally, I'd have that seasonal Twister Fries with it, but well, you can''t have everything.

waiting for the dust and debris to clear

i need you to know...

...maybe i have not shown it, or maybe you were looking for something else...

...but i am willing to fight for you. to the last breath, if need be, and continue this battle with my self just to be the man i know you deserve.

the past 2 months have been chaos. but i'd like believe we came up better people after everything. i've learned to love you more, and learned why i need to be a better man for you. i saw what i almost lost, and realized that losing you is not an option. i simply can't think of spending my life with anybody else.

i've also realized what a great set of friends we have -- people who will not stand for sin and mediocrity with the people they love. i pray that this will have a contagious effect in our circle and in the body that we move and serve in. i am encouraged to take a stand for these people, people who stood by us, and were not willing to just let what we have go to rot. i am encouraged to stand up for them too. if not for their frantic pushes in the right direction, i would have been too much of a wuss and lazy-ass craphead to do anything about it.

we know what we have now. i think we've always known -- just that we managed to forget what we loved each other for. now, as we near the day, i know it's clear to see for both you and me what we really have. all the good and the bad -- this is us. and i know, things will only look up from here. i am confident of the support structure that God is showing us right now. he plans to build us up, just like He promised.

we will heal -- we need to. we will stretch and cry and run.


we will forgive AND forget.


look here, mahal. this is what i am fighting for. i know you see it too. i've realized that yes, i have been fighting for this for the past few years.




only now, when i almost lost my grip, do i truly know that i love what i have with you.

trip to quiapo needed soon

ima thinking of going to quiapo soon. some things that i'm wanting to get:






- yes, it is out. this year's rendition of EA's footie treasure. yey.

- need to get DVD copy of this. i may have to scour quiapo though. not as if the Quiapo DVD-makers Association are alerted to these kinds of stuff.

Ed, the TV series (whatdaheckisthis?)

- I... no, correction... my mom has a wireless broadband connection at home already. (ailene, hand over those lineage2 installers right quick, ayt?)

i have download freedom, so to speak. but even with the bandwith allotment, downloading at least 6 gigs per season of all 4 seasons is still a bitch of a download. so if anybody knows where to get this, please please PLEEEEASE tell us (me or moks). i'm gonna try sa quiapo. pero malabo eh.

or, OR... if you want to give us an early Christmas gift, order this online and make us happy... here -> LINK ... or here -> LINK

hehehe. i'm thinking of just finding these 3. to look for more would take another whole day. but if you have suggestions, I'm open to them... habang hindi pa ako nagpupunta.

Ciao.

And yeah, as you might surmise, I'm feeling a bit better.

life's THE bitch

after the lost cellphone, after the amazing switchfoot concert, after countless hours of "pass-or-fail" tech support... she finally caught up with me. and she's still the huge bitch i knew from before.

only now, she had a few scores to settle. the list she held in her hands when she strode into my door was looooong... but most of the things on it were immediately recognizable.

"I bet this is gonna sting some, eh?"

"Well, let's see." A smile. I was freaking scared now.































EPILOGUE:

It did hurt. Not the sting I was expecting.

Ball-breaking, emotion-sapping, "what-the-fuck-do-I-do-now" kinda pain, it was.

I'm still reeling from the cannonball to the gut. Heck if I know what's next.

Don't count on me to smile at you the next time we meet.

again

lost my phone. yes. don't text me.

if it's urgent and you know me, text the bebe or moks. if not, then you're just gonna have to wait 'til I get a new one.




crappit.



PS
if anyone has a lead on a low-priced call-and-text phone, email me. or comment here.

johnhofilena[at]gmail[dot]com

a cause to live by

...this I pledge, and I'll take it to my death//I'll lay my life down for you and die over again//And I, I'm not ashamed of the Most High//Even if I die tonight, if I die tonight//This I pledge, and I'll take it to my death//You can bet your life on my words and everything I said//You can't take away my love for this sacrifice//Even if I die tonight, if I die tonight..

- The Messenjah (P.O.D.)

Strong words. Sadly, too strong for some of us.

But these things are mere facts of life to people who are (truly) driven by certain motivations -- a life of constant analysis/review/doubt of what is socially accepted, a commitment to live by a code, and an acceptance/realization that it was never meant to be easy.

The times when I take my faith seriously (sadly, not all of the time), these things come to me as clear as sunshine. As a man, I stand leagues away from what I hope to become, and movement towards this goal is measured in inches. Yet I am continually thankful that there even is movement. I dread the day when I lose heart and just give up. Heavenly winds are pushing me up and forward these days. I don't know how long these winds will last, but I plan to take the most out of it. As I have said, living in faith has never been easy.

These moments of clarity have let me see a number of lies that I continually believe when I am in the flesh. Firstly, a life of ease and comfort does not reflect the picture of life which my faith dictates I should be having. I maybe speaking more in terms of spiritual and mental struggle, but I do hope you get my point. What is convenient, easy, normal -- this usually comes about when you feel very acquianted with the world you're living in. What I find in the Bible, and what I've heard from people whom I respect, tells of an almost exact opposite. Living a life in faith requires a constant struggle angainst what the world, and in fact what your body, dictates as normal, good, and convenient. Living a life of worship requires you to go beyond convenience just to obey, go beyond yourself and live for His glory. While I'm in a body that almost always requires all the opposite things, I don't see how my faith can lead to an easy, convenient life.

To the extreme, let me cite an example. A life of a terrorist, I imagine, would fall here in this category -- totally committed, living in constant vigilance, waiting for the moment the command is given, and obeying with no questions asked. If that could be the description of how I am with my God, I would be proud. Sadly it is not.

My friend Leah also told me of her glimpses into the lives of those who believe in Communism. In other 1st world countries, these facts may not mean much, but here in the Philippines, being commited to this cause means a world of difference. These people live by the strictest of codes -- security, secrecy and loyalty are values held in the highest regard. Any disobedience would be regarded as a threat to their way of lives, and their way of life is as sacred to them as maybe, the Bible is to me. To take that away from them... well, you get the point.

These people take the difficulties of their way of life in stride, knowing that living the hard way is the only way to make the difference they are wanting to see in this world. I firmly believe that if we do not learn to accept the difficult task of putting the self to death every single day, we may well be falling short of the life the Savior has planned for us.

Am I saying that it is bad to look for convenience and comfort? No. Comfort, peace, and rest are all gifts that the Bible say God wants to give us. What I am saying is that if your life is a picture of being relaxed with the world, blending into your environment, a complete lack of struggle against sin and disobedience, you know full well that this is not what God wants for you.

What are you looking for? Your actions and decisions will always betray what your motivations are. Your faith is not one for excuses; it is not an easy way out, as some see it to be. The winds blow hard against your journey, and it was always meant to be that way. The struggle is what you live for -- against the flow, as they say. If you were looking for ease, it is not here. If you were looking convenience, it is not here. It is here that people struggle against the tide, walk, crawl. Wounded and bruised, they push forward, hoping that there is enough strength just for the next step. And at the end, they get what they deserve -- the applause of heaven and the approval of their Father.

His lord said to him, Well be thou, good servant and faithful; for on few things thou hast been true, I shall ordain thee on many things; enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

Matthew 25:21 (Wycliffe New Testament)

survey-ness

i have lots of really, really, REALLY serious stuff in my head right now, but first - this. I couldn't resist. From Ailene:
================
UP ako. Ikaw?

1. ANO’NG STUDENT NUMBER MO?
96-44526
2. ANO ANG FIRST CHOICE MO NA COURSE?
Believe it or not, Mass Comm in UP Cebu. I know, I know. Ask me about it and I'll tell you the whole painful story. Just not here.
3. SECOND CHOICE?
Mass Comm in UP Diliman.
4. ANO COURSE MO NA NATAPOS?
BA Journalism. Diliman.
5. NAG-SHIFT KA BA?
Would have loved UP Baguio. But never did.
6. CHINITO/CHINITA KA BA?
What the heck?!? What does this have to do with my being Isko?
7. NAKAPAG-DORM KA BA?
Never had the urge of getting into one. I didn't envy dorm people. I guess I was a homebody.
8. NAKA 4 KA BA?
Yes. Not totally my fault. My thesis partner disappeared from the face of the earth.
9. NAG-KA 3 KA NA BA?
Nope. Lowest was a 2.75. hehehe.
10. LAGI KA BANG PUMAPASOK SA KLASE?
1st and 2nd year. Nung 3rd year, nalulong sa ministry, hehehe. Started cutting the "non-essential" classes.
11. MAY SCHOLARSHIP KA BA??
Yes. STFAP and UP Presidential Scholarship. I was a rich kid during 2nd year. I screwed up the last one over a girl (got my grades all messed up. Don't ask me who.)
12. ILANG UNITS NA ANG NAIPASA MO?
Errr... di ba dapat, lahat, eventually, kung nag-graduate ka?
13. NANGARAP KA BA NA MAG-CUM LAUDE?
It was a possibility, pero di ko na inisip pagkatapos ng 1st year.
14. FAVE PROF
Nyak, 'di lang kasi isa eh. Edwin Varona -- for the gentle errr, foreplay into comm theory, Anne Suzara-Gaillard -- hottest (not just brains, looks to go with it too) Film 100 prof ever, Malou Mangahas (if you don't know her, you wouldn't get it), Dean Luis Teodoro (if anybody can get away with cynicism...), and Chito Avecilla -- for being himself.
15. WORST TEACHER
Like the above, madami din 'to. Ayoko na nga lang alalahanin.
16. FAVE SUBJECT/S:
Comm 140 (intro to comm theory), Comm 141 (comm theory), Comm 190 (eto ba yung law and mass comm?), Comm 191 (comm theory and society), Workshop2 for Short Stories, Workshop2 for Essay.
17. WORST SUBJECT:
Comm Res 101 - I don't know why we HAD to take that darned subject.
18. FAVE BUILDING:
Actually, College of Music. Kapitbahay lang ng Mass Comm.
19. PABORITONG KAINAN:
Unlike Ailene, we at Diliman had more down-to-earth choices. Lutong Bahay, over near the post office, the unbeatable pork bbq at the Beach House near the Main Lib, Persian food near the CRL, isawan near Persian Food, Mang Jimmy's -- rice all you can in Balara, and of course, Thai Canteen -- near the Islamic Center. And there are those "Aristo-cart" things, good food all around.
20. MAGKANO BA ANG BINABAYAD MO SA JEEP?
In my time, UP ikot was like, 4.50 or something.
21. LAGI KA BA SA LIBRARY?
Only when I had to be, and when accompanying girls. hehehe.
22. NAGPUPUNTA KA BA SA CLINIC?
Sa UP Health somethingorother, yeah, a number of times. Once, to apply for my LOA-causing lung ailment, my initial heal check-up, of course, and then that time when I tried to do a swan dive in my swimming class and hit my head on the bottom of the pool.
23. MAY CRUSH KA BA SA CAMPUS?
Yes, everyone should have one while in college.
24. ANU-ANO ANG MGA NAGING P.E. MO?
Ok, just to be clear, I THOUGHT, wrongly, that you HAD TO take PE1. So I took that. They only told me that you didn't have to AFTER the sem (darnyoublockmates!!!). Anyways, I took badminton after that, in which I totally rocked, and then bowling (I rock again), and then swimming (co-ed, so with all the cute chicks).
25. KAMUSTA NAMAN ANG BLOCK NYO?
My block wasn't bad at all. It wasn't great in that we ended up being lifelong friends, but there were some great moments in there.
26. MEMORIZE MO BA ANG HYMN NIYO?
As with Ailene, I actually can sing both the Tagalog and English version. We also studied TTBB for male choir in ROTC choir (yes, yes, I didn't do ROTC. I went and sang in the ROTC choir instead. Hehe).
27. MEMBER KA BA NG VARSITY TEAM?
Almost tried out for the Varsity Soccer Team, if not for that lung ailment.
28. NAKA-PERFECT KA NA BA NG EXAM?
Lots. (Tanong mo kung naka-uno din ako ng paper, daliiii.)
29. DITO KA BA NATUTONG UMINOM NG BEER?
Never akong natuto uminom ng beer.
30. DITO KA BA UNANG NAINLOVE?
No. Highschool. hehe.
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Tag: Kaligay, Moks, Leah, and whoever from UP who wants to answer this